What’s it Like to be Married to Me?

I know what you’re thinking, this lady has lost her mind. I have no idea nor do I want to have any idea what it’s like to be married to her!

Well, I can tell you that it’s not easy being married to me. I know that much. I found out so much about myself as a person, a wife, and a Christian by reading that book by Linda Dillow.

I have been blessed with an amazing group of Christian women, who all happen to be Marine wives, and we just finished the bible study that goes along with the book.

If I had to summarize the book/study in one word: Eye-opening. Is that one word? 🙂

To put the book in perspective, but without scaring the living daylights out of you, here are a few of the “dangerous questions” you will face:

What does it feel like to be my husband?
Why do I want to stay mad at you?
Am I willing to change my attitude?

Tough, right? Are all the chapters that tough? Yes! And no, there were definitely certain chapters that worked on my heart more than others, but every chapter was an opportunity for me to look in the mirror and evaluate myself.

I want to be honest here. Before I married my husband I did not look at God’s word to figure out what a godly wife should be like. Nope, not even a little. I had no idea what God expected from me as a wife. I just knew I loved the man and wanted to spend everyday on this earth with him. The whole idea behind this book is to become a wife by design (God’s design) and not by default. Don’t be a wife just to be a wife. Be the wife that God designed specifically for your husband.

How does someone become a wife by design? 

First, you have to come to understand your husband. He has specific needs, wants, desires, dreams, and goals that no other person (no, not even you) has. This study focuses on you, the wife, and does not even touch on our imperfect husbands. Why? Because this study is about you, not him. It’s tough, I know.

To become a wife by design, one has to come to understand what God expects of you as a wife. I loved that the author tied in scripture with our reading everyday. I am hungry for more, and want to know everything that the Bible says about being a wife now. It just makes sense.

Recognizing that you are not perfect, you were born a sinner and you will die a sinner is important. You are forced to humble yourself before the Lord and your husband. Serving both God and my husband is a duty of mine as a wife.

This book will truly open your eyes to what God expects of you, and if you take to heart the things this book recommends I would almost guarantee that you will see a change in your marriage, but more importantly in you.

My bible study group finished up this week. There are a couple things we mentioned that I feel like I need to share. First, I do recommend any woman whether married for 1 year or 40 years to read this book. However, reading the book and doing the study with a partner or group seems to be more effective. In our experiences, having someone to share the “tough stuff” with and to hold one another accountable is important. Our group worked well because we were a good mix of “seasoned” Christians, new Christians, and those seeking God. Understanding that God designed you even before you took your first breath to be the wife to your husband is something you cannot get around in this book.

I am forever grateful to the women and the author of this book for teaching me and sharing with me what it’s like to be a wife by God’s design.

One of the assignments of this study is to write a Marriage Purpose Statement. We wrote them Week 1 and had to go back to them at the end of the study and re-write/revisit. I completely rewrote mine and will share it here with you tomorrow.

Have you read this book? Are you willing to ask yourself the dangerous questions in this study?


4 responses to “What’s it Like to be Married to Me?

  1. You summed it up very well! I was one of the women who completed this study with Jerri Ann. I will continue to look back at the book, my notes, and scripture to remind myself of what it means to be a wife by design. I learned so much about myself, my husband, and our relationship not only with each other, but also with God. I have a whole new perspective on our marriage and was able to evaluate myself. I would definitely recommend this study to anyone who has been married for 1 year or 20 years. Don't be turned off by the “dangerous questions”; they bring up some great ideas and insights!


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